Many parents are confused about what they should tell their children about sex and when and how this should happen. Parents are also concerned that sexual information might heighten children's interest in experimentation, but many studies have shown that information and education do not encourage sexual activity. On the contrary, wellinformed children make better and informed decisions regarding their sexuality, when they feel that no subjects are considered taboo at home. Some parents are concerned that their children never ask any questions of a sexual nature. Children pick up subtle cues and have probably realised that the topic makes parents feel uncomfortable and therefore steer clear of it. It is important to make children feel good about their sexuality from the beginning. This will make it easier for them to ask questions about it throughout their lives. Here are a few good reasons why you need to take some time out and make sure that your child has the right kind of sexual information and how it can help your child...

PREGNANCY AND AIDS: Previously, the threat of unwanted pregnancies and STDs were the main reasons parents talked about sex. Many never did. Sex was made out to be something terrifying that could lead to scandal and disaster and social ostracism. Nowadays, the terrifying rise in HIV infections has added urgency to the need for proper sex education.

AN ONGOING PROCESS: Questions should be answered naturally and in age-appropriate fashion. A question on pregnancy from a five-year-old should be answered differently from when it is asked by a twelve-year-old.

BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL: Model the lessons you want to teach your children through your own behaviour, expectations and messages. Children learn more from what they see you doing than from what you say.

KNOW YOUR FACTS: Even if it means reading up, then do so. If asked a question you do not know, say that you are unsure and go and do some research.

GIVE FACTS: Children are not always able to distinguish between facts and beliefs. Do not let your personal belief system influence what you answer to a factual question. While there is room for imparting your values, this is not it.

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD: Curious children end up being better informed generally and self-confident children overcome peer pressure more easily. Praise is the best way to teach self-confidence.

LISTEN CAREFULLY: Guard against overkill. Answer what is asked, without going into unnecessary details and don't jump to conclusions about your children's sexual activities. Their questions may spring from something they heard on the playground, not because they are experimenting themselves.

POSITIVE FEELINGS: Young people who have positive feelings about sexuality are more likely to be able to protect themselves against STDs, unintended pregnancies and sexual abuse.

BE PATIENT: Sometimes some of your children's questions could upset or embarrass you. Try not to criticise, lecture or nag. If you do, you won't be asked questions again.

ASSURANCE: Let your children know that you are proud of them and that they are lovable. It will help to build their self-esteem. Also stress that it is normal for everyone to be different and that you do not find their questions strange in any way. A child is very vulnerable and can get carried away by external sources. Make sure you impart a proper understanding of sexuality in your child, and always be open to them and keep your child safe.

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